Noah's Artwork

Monday, August 31, 2009

An Ode To My Beloved Assistant

The ‘F’ provides the perfect beginning
Like bellows for the fireplace
The lip is pushed into the teeth
Pushing out the hot, suspenseful, stinky breath of profanity
Ffffffffffffffffff…
Like a light fuse of dynamite
Ffffffffffffffffff...
Eyes watch in horror as the spark slides closer to the inevitable
Eyes watch in horror as the mouth forms the first sounds
“He’s not going to say it!”

The ‘U’ is hesitant.
Uhhhhhh…
Suddenly, he remembers hours of childhood punishment
Stool in corner
Soap in mouth
Triggering a million pervasive, frantic thoughts
In his perverse little mind
“Do I dare utter the unholiest of unholies?”
"Do I dare make this pact with satan?"

Finally, with a deafening choke; like a clap of thunder
CK!!!!!!!!!!
It has been done. The deed has been done.
The dynamite explodes, leaving behind only ringing ears, dropped jaws, and rubble
Never has a word, so evil, yet so satisfying, been spoken

Monday, April 20, 2009

Portland, Oregon

I was there recently. I didn't have access to a real camera on the trip, so I had to take crappy camera phone pictures. Just thought I'd post them. None of these pictures are artwork necessarily, but it's an extremely cool city. Very unique culture.

Portland is nicknamed the City of Roses (or something like that) because the city has moist winters and cool summers, which are apparently the optimum conditions for growing roses all over the place. here is a tree in front of someone's house that was chock-full of roses. I didn't know you could grow them on trees.

Lot's of public art in Portland.

Just some metal roosters

Cool sign for a theater (I think. It might have been a hotel).

Flying metal pigs.

Some bronze (i think) beavers

Big ol' metal horse.

More rooster bissness.

Some cool painted fish displayed on the side of a parking garage (I know it's a bad picture)

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Bad art is still art II

I was in a diner with some friends, and made some faces out of sweet 'n low (or was it splenda?) while I waited for my nachos. Malibu Diner is great, by the way. The waitress didn't even get mad when she saw that I made a mess.